Should I smoke a pipe?
I have always had problems differentiating between what's cool and what constitutes a fashion no-no. Be it insistently wearing a white 70's safari jacket since I was 17 or persisting in being in an overly camp comedy band. My latest fad is a wanting to smoke a proper pipe, not something as crude as a crack pipe, but a proper mans pipe, the sort that Roald Dahl might have smoked. The sort that can become a surrogate beard for contemplative massaging. If I'm going to have to live with grey hair this seems the next logical step, maybe a cardigan too. So is this a good idea? Additionally, is it difficult, seeing as I often have problems keeping a roll-up alight, will I struggle?
posted by Scott at 6:19 AM
6 Comments:
You may need to learn how to tamp the tobacco down, but you seem like a generally intelligent person.
At least it would stop you poncing fags off me every time we meet.
If you're really worried about it, can I recommend chewing tobacco? Once you've corroded an open sore in your gum, I understand it's an addictive passtime.
Maybe these fellows will be able to help.
http://www.pcol.co.uk/
I'm affraid the answer has to be no, for the following reasons:
1. You'll smell horrible
2. I saw some people on Hampstead Heath smoking pipes and looking smug and I wanted to kill them, it looked like ironic and hipsterism to me which I really can't abide.
Basically I think that you can only really get away with smoking a pipe if you're over 50 or if it's before 1980.
Cardigans on the other hand are practical and stylish vestments, I own a number myself and heartily endorse them. Whether worn casually, open-style, or fastened for protection against our isles often unforgiving climate the cardigan is a design classic that won't let you down.
But being smug is something I absolutely excel at, and I think my general appearance will convince people I'm not hip
Look, scott,
I've only ever known one person who smoked a pipe. He used to live the the cux and YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT.
Yes that's right - the man of a thousand brain cells who writes his name in your books and tells you that he has a PhD in parapsychology and performs exorcisms and is a twat.
And he looked like a twat. When he smoked a pipe, he looked like a twat smoking a pipe. He would look at you, thinking to himself 'i'm smoking a fucking pipe, and therefor i am grown up, elegant and respectable' but he was just an even more annoying twat.
So, my advice is, don't smoke a pipe. Not unless it's a comedy pipe. Shaped like a nuns arse or something. Or a penis with a scraped out bollock sack for a bowl.
something like that would be fine.
I'm afraid I agree with anonymous. I lived with the twat too. Don't do it Scolar.....NOOOOoo
Post a Comment
<< Home